Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
