If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
