whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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