i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
