it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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