Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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