On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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