i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
