Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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