You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am available for nakedness
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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