So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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