I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You have to summon your inner elephant
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
