Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm, like, this ðŸ¤ðŸ¼ close to buying crocs
And you're also ðŸ¤ðŸ¼ to never putting your dick inside me again
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