Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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