I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I would ride that face into the sunset
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
