Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
