somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
