their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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