Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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