epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
