I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
