Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.

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(917): View more from New York City

My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case

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(912): View more from Georgia

Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

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(516): View more from New York

Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.

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(818): View more from California

His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.

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(847): View more from Illinois

He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.

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