dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
