awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
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SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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