I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
