awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
