its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
