Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The beer is more important than you right now.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
