I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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