Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
...so i touched it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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