this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
