my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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