would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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