it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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