if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
