I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.