I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.