i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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