so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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