By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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