I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
