Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
