I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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