I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well I just put wine in my tea
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
