Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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