i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
