the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize