I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
