the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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