So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Randomize