capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You need a sexual gate keeper
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
