May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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