Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
its liver damage thursday
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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