Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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