Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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