i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
