Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
