someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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