i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
even my farts smell like vagina
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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