I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
