96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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