I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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