hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
