I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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